Dan Dominguez has this blog. You have the ultimatum to read it or be thrown into the sea.
I Think Dear Abby Was A Bit Off Her Game on This One
DEAR ABBY: I am a 20-year-old student who has lived in an apartment with my current roommate, “Karen,” for 18 months. We get along well. She does what she is told. One time she ate a Malamar that was mine. She has been dealt with.
For the past nine months, Karen has been dating a man who has begun spending almost every night in our apartment. So far, I have tolerated the situation because they’re not disruptive. Also, the man leaves stains on the couch that I have come to approve of.
Then, I recently visited this guy’s apartment for the first time. Abby, no wonder he’s here every night. Blech! I thought I was touring a vacant apartment. Things in there were just not altogether right. His kitchen has absolutely nothing in it, and the living room is mostly unfurnished and totally unlit. In addition, he has no phone or Internet service. In his closet I found a hung cat, its eyes bulging from its failed struggle to find oxygen as it slowly ceased to be. Not only that, but underneath his couch I found some old Playboys. That was bad enough, but as I leafed through the pages I noticed he had a collection of fingernails he seems to have torn off of God knows who. There were dozens of them, of all shapes and sizes. So I sat down on his couch to collect myself, when I looked up to see he was standing over me, I felt cold in his shadow, and I said “Hi Alex.” To which he didn’t respond, but kept staring, almost like he was staring through me, then he made like he was going to bite me, and crawled out the window on all fours. I turned on his TiVo to wait for Karen, and it turns out he only TivO’s CSI:Miami. Abby, that is easily the worst, least intelligent of the CSI’s. The only other thing, and this is more of a pet peeve than a complaint really, is I noticed that on his toothpaste he had crossed out CREST and written LITTLE BOY BLOOD.
Since then, I haven’t been able to get it off my mind. I don’t want to ruin what is otherwise a good situation, but how do I put my mind at ease? I can’t put my finger on what’s bothering me, but something about him just doesn’t “feel” right. — STEAMED IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
DEAR STEAMED: You have described a young bachelor who doesn’t cook, who probably has eaten most of his meals “out,” and who has not developed a strong nesting instinct, either. (He could also not have much money.). The cat thing is a little weird, but boys will be boys. But keep your eyes and ears open, and if anything else about your roommate’s boyfriend bothers you, mention it to her.